Wise Sex Sayings compiles groovy little sexual anecdotes for those seeking sexually fulfilling enlightenment by the worlds top sex authority.
While you're here, Compare
and read our reviews of every leading online dating service with foto personal ads
that allows you to post a profile free of charge. Beats going to a bar, it's a helluva lot cheaper, and
you're chances of getting laid improve ten fold! The partners in love totally free dating personals
network is a non-profit dating concept giving singles an outlet to post
personal ads, search profiles and send unlimited messages to whomever you wish for no cost, ever!
Honorable Wise Horny Old Confucious say...
- ...woman sitting in jelly have her ass in jam.
- ...man with penis in peanut butter, fucking nuts.
- ...man who puts penis in vaccuum cleaner, get sucked off.
- ...boy who lay girl on hill, not on level.
- ...man who lose key to girlfriend apartment, get no new-key!
- ...he who finger girl during period, get caught red-handed.
- ...he who smoke pot, choke on handle.
- ...woman who wear g-string, high on crack!
- ...he who stand on toilet, high on pot!
- ...boy who go to bed with sex problem on mind, wake up with solution on-hand!
- ...girl who bathe in vinegar, walk around with sour-puss!
- ...man with hand in bush, not nessarily trimming shrubs!
- ...man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money!
- ...he who masturbate, screw only himself!
- ...he who walks thru airplane door sideways is going to Bangkok!
- ...dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs!
Passion Adult Personal Ads
Soft core photo personal ads with 8 million registered members, and 12,000 new
sexy singles joining each day. Caters the young to mid age singles
demographic that are not afraid to show a little skin. The rockin' chat rooms
are also included with your free profile.
Confucious take long nap after long whack - wake and say...
- 1. Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit.
- 2. Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.
- 3. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.
- 4. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
- 5. Passionate kiss like spider web-lead to undoing of fly.
- 6. Man with holes in pocket, feels cocky all day.
- 7. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
- 8. Virginity like balloon-one prick, all gone.
- 9. Girls who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.
- 10. He who farts in church, sits in own pew.
- 11. Baseball all wrong-man with four balls can't walk.
- 12. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.
- 13. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
- 14. Man with penis in peanut butter is f***ing nuts.
- 15. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
- 16. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.
- 17. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.
- 18. Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand.
Celebrity Quotes About Sex and Relationships
Ah, yes divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. - Roseanne
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" - Dave Barry
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. - Jay Leno
In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts? - Jay Leno
We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." - Elayne Boosler
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So, what's the problem? - Jay Leno
When the sun comes up, I have morals again. - Elayne Boosler
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." - Jerry Seinfeld
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. - Lewis Grizzard
The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job.
But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. - Jeff Foxworthy
Spice Up Your Sex Life! fun kinky fetish toys
Sexual Stupidity - What Not to Say!
1) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.
2) How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.
3) What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
4) What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
5) What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
6) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
7) What is the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during orgasm.
8) What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass? A mechanic.
9) Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
10) Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? She is the one who can eat the last donut.
11) Jewish dilemma:
Free PORK.
12) The three words most hated by men during sex: "Are you in?"
13) The three words women hate to hear when having sex: "Honey, I'm home!"
14) Why do men take showers instead of baths? Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
15) Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? When you take it off, you wonder where her tits went.
Adultfriendfinders - Largest Nude Sex Personals Adult picture sex personals with 11 million registered members, most with nude or semi-naked profiles! Without a doubt the ultimate in sexy online dating, this adult dating
site boasts one of the largest sex dating communities on the Web. It's not just
an adult matchmaking site or service, it is a fully functioning adult singles
community! Here you will find online video chats, adult photo galleries, and
adult dating articles. If you looking for erotic encounters and the best in
adult dating and activities, this is the service for you. Largest Adult
Personals with over 10 million registered members! If you want a site who
emphasis on 'adult' and 'sex' then this site is for you. swingers | lesbian | latina | asian | mature | interracial
Spice Up Your Sex Life! fun kinky fetish toys
Related Personals and Online Dating Site Pagesnude profile personals
| canadian
personals | introduction
services | latino
singles sites single asian women |
jewish personal ads | sexy
seniors | all dating
sites | california
single girls
Weird And Funky Spunky Wild Sex Facts
So, You Want Her To Swallow?
Semen tastes sweeter if you haven't been eating meat. It's also an old wives tale that eating pineapple makes it taste really good.
An Amazing Organ… The vagina is self-cleaning, kind of like the oven. Is that were the term "one in the oven" comes from?.
Production Far Exceeds Demand…
A healthy male's ejaculate contains over 200 million sperm. If every one of these were able to find an egg, the average guy could easily fertilize 5 billion eggs in less than two weeks (this would double the current population of the earth).
Of course, the time required would vary slightly between individuals and be affected by environmental factors like diet and the availability of porn.
The Best Cure For A Headache…
A female orgasm releases endorphins (chemicals released in the brain that give us pleasure) and these are powerful painkillers.
Having a headache is a reason to have sex, not to abstain from it.
So You Think You're The Father…
The more recent Kinsey studies that included genetic testing found one in ten children in America is mistaken about their father's identity.
Also, a British study found that a woman is more likely to become pregnant with a lover rather than her husband, when she's been having sex with both in a given time period and even having sex with her husband more often.
How Many Of Us Are Cheaters?
The results of sex polls are generally inconsistent, but the range of inconsistency on infidelity questionnaires is especially high.
The results of the various Kinsey polls over the last 50 years asking if a person has committed at least one act of extramarital sex have revealed numbers as low as 15% and as high as 65% - and are as inconsistent in the 1950's as they are in the 1990's.
Most Polls show a higher percentage of male infidelity, but some reveal an even percentage, suggesting women are just as likely to cheat.
One thing is certain- there are a lot of liars and unfaithful spouses out there.
Is It As Long As A Baby's Arm?
The average erect penis is six inches in length, although flaccid measurements vary considerably.
The New Way To Hook Up and Fall in Love…
Computers have made it easier to get laid. There is an Internet dating site, boasting over 10 million registered members. Currently 18,000 new people a day join to find someone for a casual affair.
Tips To Last Longer In Bed
Are you tired of being grilled with questions like, "is that it? Are you done?" Good sex is not all about how long you can last, but racing to the finish line is the number one complaint women have about their men. Here are a few tips that can turn any minuteman into a marathon lover.
Get To Know Yourself
Practice makes perfect. If you masturbate concentrating on prolonging your orgasm you will be able to repeat the performance in bed. Whack off as long as you can, as often as you can. Bring yourself as close to orgasm and stop just long enough that you can start all over again and bring yourself back to the same level of ecstasy, then start all over again.
Make a game of seeing how many times as you can bring yourself to the edge without coming and pay attention to the signs and sensations your body gives you that you're about to come. It's possible to train yourself to withhold an orgasm at will, using this method alone.
Foreplay Is A Good Thing
Even though it doesn't really help you to last longer, it can seem like you have lasted longer if you spend more time on foreplay- with her. Make sure that you have touched every square inch of her body before you even lick her pussy. Extend foreplay to the point of driving you both crazy. She'll be a lot more appreciative, even if you do only make it thirty seconds in her pussy.
Be careful about receiving too much foreplay yourself. Every stimulation your cock receives is a queue to get ready to cum, but only in a constant timeline. If it's possible, get her to give you head before you practice your foreplay skills on her. That way you'll have had a little break before she's begging for your cock.
The Best Positions
Everyone has different preferences for positions. There are some that you know will make you come fast and others that seem to just keep you hard. Choose positions that you know aren't your favorite first and when you are finally ready to cum (or just about exhausted) switch to your favorite.
Most men cum quicker doggy style but last longer with missionary and sex lying down on one side (spoon like). Cowgirl style is 50/50- it's strictly a personal preference. Some guys last longer when the woman is on top, some blow their wad as soon as she settles into the saddle.
Condoms Are Your Friend
Despite all the hype and the advertising claims about increased sensitivity, nothing cuts the sensation of sex more than a condom. If you still have trouble coming too fast with one on, wear two. But always remember
to put ono the jacket. You never know what you could catch.
Stay Focused Danielson
Don't let self-fulfilling prophecies work against you, make them work for you.
Remember, sexual stimulation is entirely in your mind. It might be hard to think so when a hot chick is riding you like a bronco, but it's true. You don't have to think about baseball or your grandmother naked (although those both work), but concentrating on not having an orgasm too soon does work, just stay focused. It has to do with the complex relationship our conscious mind has with our unconscious mind.
If you truly convince yourself that you aren't going to cum, you won't. It also works in reverse, so be careful- if you think you're going to cum too soon, you will.
|
Copyright © 2003-2005
nude-girls-sex-personals
All Rights Reserved Free Adult Personals and Sex Related Site Reviews for
Adults Only
navigation map l sexy sites
directory l disclaimer
privacy l contact info
terms of use agreement: You
must be at least 18 years of age to use all services and
products within this website. You agree that you are 18
years old or over if you continue. We offer free picture galleries,
dating site reviews, sex jokes and dating articles of an adult nature. Our personal ads are
totally free meaning singles of legal age can post
personal ads, add photo's to the profiles, search the database, and
be allowed unlimited contact without being charged or
required to register an email address. All our personal
ads are open to public view so use caution when posting
any personal information on the Internet. We never use pop up
ads or blind links, no spyware or tracking
software. All pages and picture galleries
are safe to browse. Graphics owned and copyrighted via
affiliate partners and/or vendors - No content herein
may be used without permission accordingly
Offices in Southern California, New York State, Central Florida, Vancouver Canada, and Houston Texas
|
|