 Pick
Up Lines 101 is a complete one page
compilation of all the pick up lines ever conjured up over the centuries
and used by savvy, yet horny dudes for hitting upon and eventually scoring
some sexual payback from the women they so adored. We provide no guarantee that
you'll get laid by using these babies, but ya might at least get a good slap so proceed
with trepidation my fellow bro's. For entertainment
purposes only and should only be used by professional single players only.
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Over 100 of Mans most effective, frightfully
predictable pick up lines! Every cheesy come on line is listed right here!
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
- Are you a surgeon? CAuse you've just took my
heart away!
- Have I seen you before? OH yeah it was in the
dictionary under the word KABLAM!!
- There must be a keg in your pants, cuz I want
to tap that ass.
- You're like milk, I want to make you a part of
my complete breakfast.
- My pickup line was published on the Internet...
Would you like to hear it.
- Hey gorgeous the power company is looking for
you you're so electrifying.
- I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my
wallet.
- Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!!
MY JAW!!
- Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the
best a man can get.
- I want to melt in your mouth, not in your
hand.
- Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
- Bond. James Bond
- How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I
just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
- If I pet you, would you follow me home?
- I'm not wearing any pants.
- I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and
wear you like a feed bag.
- I love the way you move...like butter on a bald
monkey.
- You remind me of my Grandma except I haven't
slept with you yet.
- You stole my heart. But that's okay; I have
another one at home in the fridge.
- Do you just wanna get naked?
- Do you work for UPS? 'Cause I swear I saw you
checking out my package!
- Why do I have a pierced tongue? You'll soon
find out.
- Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?
- Your body's name must be Visa, because it's
everywhere I want to be.
- Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the
money.
- I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can
make your bed rock.
- I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm
the only one talking to you.
- Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your
Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.
- Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I
seem to have lost mine.
I can't find my puppy,
can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
- I'm new in town, could I have directions to
your house.
- If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you
would be McGorgeous.
- You might not be the best looking girl here,
but beauty is only a light switch away.
- That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of
it?
- There must be something wrong with my eyes, I
can't take them off you.
- Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only
ten I see!
- Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole
the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
- Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause
you've got a nice set of buns.
- Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost
in your eyes.
- Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling
tic-tac's.
- Excuse me I lost my teddy bear will you sleep
with me tonight.
- If you were a buger I would pick you first.
- You: Can I borrow a quarter?
She: why? ( if she says sure or something else get
her to ask you why)
You: so I can call my mom
and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. ( have something quick to
say afterwards)
- Are your pants from outer space? 'cause your
butt is out of this world.
- Are you a parking ticket? 'cause you got
fine-fine-fine written all over ya.
- I can't wait until tomorrow. She replys why
not. You say cause you look better everyday.
- Are you tired? Cause you've been running
through my mind all day!
- If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and
I together!
- I must be in heaven cause I've seen an
angel.
- Come on baby, sex is like pizza: Even if it's
bad, it's still pretty good.
- Do you wanna have kids with me??? No? Then do
you just wanna practice?
- I wish you were a carousel at Wal-Mart so I
could ride you all day long for just a quarter!!
- Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To
Do" List!
- Save a horse -- ride a cowboy.
- Hey baby, will you be my love buffet so I can
lay you on the table and take what I want?
- You know, it's not premarital sex unless you
plan on getting married.
- Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
- I'd walk a million miles for one of your
smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
- Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
- Mmmm, you bring new meaning to the word
"edible".
- Hey babe, do you realize that my mouth can
generate over 750 psi?
- Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?!?!!
- Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
- Hi! Can I buy you a car?
- I had sex with someone last night. Was that
you?
- You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
- You're ugly but you intrigue me.
- Hey baby...infect me!
- Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a
bottle of champagne.
- No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty
bucks?
- Be unique and different, say yes.
- If you ever want to see your children again,
you'll do what I want.
- Inheriting Pick Up Lines 101eighty million
bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
- If I had a rose for everytime I thought of you,
I'd be walking in my garden forever.
- You look so good, when I saw you I almost had a
hard attack.
- Sweetheart, you make me wanna get a job.
- Excuse me, do you have a band-aid? I scraped my
knee when I fell for you.
- Helen was so lovely the Trojans climbed into a
horse. You're so gorgeous I'd climb into a Trojan.
- Nice legs. What time do they open?
- I hope you have a library card because I
checking you out.
- I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
- I'm feeling a little off today. Would you mind
turning me on?
- Since you lost your virginity, can I play with
the box it came in?
- You must eat a lot of lucky charms because you
are magically delicious!
- Your body's name must be Visa, because it's
everywhere I want to be.
- Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the
money
- I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can
make your bed rock
- I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm
the only one talking to you.
- Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your
Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.
- Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I
seem to have lost mine.
- I can't find my puppy, can you help me find
him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
- I'm new in town, could I have directions to
your house.
- If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you
would be McGorgeous.
- You might not be the best looking girl here,
but beauty is only a light switch away
- "If it's true that we are what we eat, then I
could be you by morning."
- I wish you were a door so I could slam you all
day.
- Nice legs...what time do they open?
- Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you
checking out my package.
- You've got 206 bones in your body, want one
more?
- Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the
money?
- I may not be the best looking guy in here, but
I'm the only one talking to you.
- I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big
Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?
- I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest
woman on earth tonight.
- Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can
blow the hell outta me.
- I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside
Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille
name tag.
- I'd really like to see how you look when I'm
naked.
- Is that a ladder in your stockings or the
stairway to heaven?
- You might not be the best looking girl here,
but beauty is only a light switch away.
- Yo Babybee cakes, Are those real?
- You must be the limp doctor because I've got a
stiffy.
- I'd walk a million miles for one of your
smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
- If it's true that we are what we eat, then I
could be you by morning.
- (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just
going to suck itself.
- You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with
me.
- You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any
questions?
- Those clothes would look great in a crumpled
heap on my bedroom floor.
- F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry
Titsbottom?
- Those clothes would look great in a crumpled
heap on my bedroom floor.
- My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be
screaming it later.
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should
I walk by again?
- Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were
looking for me.
- My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M
cute.
- Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over
and talk to you.
- My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me
anytime you want to.
- I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how
much have you been drinking?
- If you were the last woman and I was the last
man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
- Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No?
Why? Don't you like pizza?
- Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you
shouldn't go home without me.
- Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
- Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can
see myself in them.
- I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I
think he went into this cheap motel room.
- (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get
you out of these wet clothes.
Snappy female comebacks to guy's cheesy pick ups
lines
- Man:"Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD
Clinic."
- Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there
anymore."
- Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit
down."
- Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit
under a rock?"
- Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to
mine."
- Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your
number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book.">
- Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
- Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
- Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
- Man: "How do you like your eggs in the
morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"
- Man:"I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
- Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
- Man:"If I could see you naked, I'd die
happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd
probably die laughing".
- Man:"Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
- Man:"I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
- Man:"I would go to the end of the world for
you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay
there?
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Weird And Funky Spunky Wild Sex Facts
So, You Want Her To Swallow?
Semen tastes sweeter if you haven't been eating meat. It's also an old wives tale that eating pineapple makes it taste really good.
An Amazing Organ… The vagina is self-cleaning, kind of like the oven. Is that were the term "one in the oven" comes from?.
Production Far Exceeds Demand…
A healthy male's ejaculate contains over 200 million sperm. If every one of these were able to find an egg, the average guy could easily fertilize 5 billion eggs in less than two weeks (this would double the current population of the earth).
Of course, the time required would vary slightly between individuals and be affected by environmental factors like diet and the availability of porn.
The Best Cure For A Headache…
A female orgasm releases endorphins (chemicals released in the brain that give us pleasure) and these are powerful painkillers.
Having a headache is a reason to have sex, not to abstain from it.
So You Think You're The Father…
The more recent Kinsey studies that included genetic testing found one in ten children in America is mistaken about their father's identity.
Also, a British study found that a woman is more likely to become pregnant with a lover rather than her husband, when she's been having sex with both in a given time period and even having sex with her husband more often.
How Many Of Us Are Cheaters?
The results of sex polls are generally inconsistent, but the range of inconsistency on infidelity questionnaires is especially high.
The results of the various Kinsey polls over the last 50 years asking if a person has committed at least one act of extramarital sex have revealed numbers as low as 15% and as high as 65% - and are as inconsistent in the 1950's as they are in the 1990's.
Most Polls show a higher percentage of male infidelity, but some reveal an even percentage, suggesting women are just as likely to cheat.
One thing is certain- there are a lot of liars and unfaithful spouses out there.
Is It As Long As A Baby's Arm?
The average erect penis is six inches in length, although flaccid measurements vary considerably.
The New Way To Hook Up and Fall in Love…
Computers have made it easier to get laid. There is an Internet dating site, boasting over 10 million registered members. Currently 18,000 new people a day join to find someone for a casual affair.
Tips To Last Longer In Bed
Are you tired of being grilled with questions like, "is that it? Are you done?" Good sex is not all about how long you can last, but racing to the finish line is the number one complaint women have about their men. Here are a few tips that can turn any minuteman into a marathon lover.
Get To Know Yourself
Practice makes perfect. If you masturbate concentrating on prolonging your orgasm you will be able to repeat the performance in bed. Whack off as long as you can, as often as you can. Bring yourself as close to orgasm and stop just long enough that you can start all over again and bring yourself back to the same level of ecstasy, then start all over again.
Make a game of seeing how many times as you can bring yourself to the edge without coming and pay attention to the signs and sensations your body gives you that you're about to come. It's possible to train yourself to withhold an orgasm at will, using this method alone.
Foreplay Is A Good Thing
Even though it doesn't really help you to last longer, it can seem like you have lasted longer if you spend more time on foreplay- with her. Make sure that you have touched every square inch of her body before you even lick her pussy. Extend foreplay to the point of driving you both crazy. She'll be a lot more appreciative, even if you do only make it thirty seconds in her pussy.
Be careful about receiving too much foreplay yourself. Every stimulation your cock receives is a queue to get ready to cum, but only in a constant timeline. If it's possible, get her to give you head before you practice your foreplay skills on her. That way you'll have had a little break before she's begging for your cock.
The Best Positions
Everyone has different preferences for positions. There are some that you know will make you come fast and others that seem to just keep you hard. Choose positions that you know aren't your favorite first and when you are finally ready to cum (or just about exhausted) switch to your favorite.
Most men cum quicker doggy style but last longer with missionary and sex lying down on one side (spoon like). Cowgirl style is 50/50- it's strictly a personal preference. Some guys last longer when the woman is on top, some blow their wad as soon as she settles into the saddle.
Condoms Are Your Friend
Despite all the hype and the advertising claims about increased sensitivity, nothing cuts the sensation of sex more than a condom. If you still have trouble coming too fast with one on, wear two. But always remember
to put ono the jacket. You never know what you could catch.
Stay Focused Danielson
Don't let self-fulfilling prophecies work against you, make them work for you.
Remember, sexual stimulation is entirely in your mind. It might be hard to think so when a hot chick is riding you like a bronco, but it's true. You don't have to think about baseball or your grandmother naked (although those both work), but concentrating on not having an orgasm too soon does work, just stay focused. It has to do with the complex relationship our conscious mind has with our unconscious mind.
If you truly convince yourself that you aren't going to cum, you won't. It also works in reverse, so be careful- if you think you're going to cum too soon, you will.
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