Tips and Advice for Meeting Single Girls Online
Common Sense Safety Tips
Online dating can lead to off-line friendship, love and even marriage. Exchanging written
correspondence, is a great way to build loving, trusting relationships. However, you could expose
yourself to the risk of physical harm if you proceed without caution. You wouldn't give a stranger
on the street your name, address and telephone number.. don't do it on-line! Protect yourself with
the following common sense guidelines, and enjoy the start of what might become a very beautiful
friendship. You might be a macho man, but the whackos out there don't care. It's the whackos you'd
never see coming that you're being cautious about not revealing to much.
Remain Somewhat Anonymous for as Long as Possible
Don't give anyone online your real e-mail address, last name, phone number, address or place of
work during your early correspondence. Stop communicating with anyone who tries to pressure you
into giving this information. Check with your ISP server and make sure that your Online Profile
does not give out more personal information than you are comfortable with.
Your web profile is your "first chance to make a good impression". This is where the girls
will
come to check ya out if your personal ad peeks the interest. More on the personal ad in a bit.
Most gals might consider your profile to be reflective of your personality. Probably should
keep that in mind, eh?
The hot tips when it comes to enticing a woman to
investigate further?
Humor - Honesty - Mystery - Humor
Your dating profile should be simple yet witty, honest,
precise and to the point. NO NOVELS! It should also be visually
stimulating and somewhat of an open book. You want to
leave them wishing to know more, and with a grin on the face.
Those single chicks get tons of responses, if you don't stand out,
you'll be dead in the water. The second humor above is not a mistake.
If you're going to invest time or money in using a matchmaking website, you should really pay
some attention to writing a profile that will get you some responses. Take days if need be. Females will
not be interested in emailing you if you do not do something to make yourself stand out from the
masses of men using personal ads to find romance.
We own and administer almost 200 dating websites. Guys frequently email, "I never get any
replies to my ad." I go look at the and find that the profile typically reads something to the effect of;
"SWM looking for my soulmate for walks on the beach, dining out and cuddling. Email me for
details." And here's the kicker, they think the ad kicks ass! Hm, tells me they don't know how
women think. Can't be bothered to write a full paragraph to find the love of your life? Or even a
fun date for the weekend? Perhaps a pooch might be in order. You ain't getting laid any time soon.
Observe and Study to Know your Competition
Among the best of all dating tips for men that I've ever heard is the universal
principle of knowing who your competition is. In business, knowing and
understanding your competition will ensure that you're always at the cutting
edge of your industry.
In online dating, you should be aware of your competitors and see what they have to offer.
There is no harm in reading the profiles of other guys, remember you're not there to date them, you're there to
get more dates THAN them. While you should never steal someone else's thunder
by plagiarizing their profile, I would recommend reviewing them for style cues
and other tips on what a good profile should look and sound like. Additionally,
check out the photos of other guys and look for trends. If it looks like other
guys have only included pictures with their group of drinking buddies, include
a similar picture but make sure to one-up them with a great picture of you
involved in a unique activity.
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First set of DOs and DON'Ts for online dating success:
Yes, Do, Ok, Good
- Do spend time to express your thoughts, feelings and desires.
- Do define what it is that you are looking for, and perhaps why.
- Do express your hobbies, passions and interests.
- Do add unique details that encompass who yo are. What makes you different!
- Do protect your identity until you feel comfortable sharing.
- Do use all the resources available at within this site.
- Do use pictures that highlight your best features.
No, Don't, Not, Bad
- Don't dwell in the past. Save other online dating stories for your third or fourth date.
- Don't focus on what you don't want.
- Don't lie. As simple as this sounds, the truth will come out eventually.
- Don't play the blame game. Responsibility is attractive to chicks.
- Don't give personally identifiable information in your profile.
- Don't post pictures of you in a group.
- Don't speak negatively about yourself or others.
- Don't brag, the only people that care is you.
Online Dating in a medium where faith in a potential partner is being put at an all-time
high risk, it is important to know if you're stepping blindly. There's plenty of street savvy women
that would love to part you with some cash. If you're considering an online
dating, or are currently in one, there are a few things you should be prepared to look out for.
While each situation is unique, and it is important to go by your instinct, the following list
should help you spot any red flags you might encounter.
RED FLAG WARNING: Pressing for personal information
If the person is sharing or asking for personal information in the very first few meetings, that
should be considered seriously. No matter how friendly the
person is, considering online dating a little bit unsafe, one
should in no case share or force the partner to share the
personal information. Who knows if there is any truth in what is
being shown to you. So always be on safe side and never disclose
the personal information unless you are satisfied with your
partner's information. Also don't send your photos. To be on safe side, while chatting or
talking use some fake or made up name and also the email address
should also be fake.
RED FLAG WARNING: No solid contact info
They do not have any solid contact numbers, and don't offer resaons why. If any of the following
situations sound familiar, be prepared to further investigate the possibility of a situation you
may not be aware of:
- You progressed to contact them over the phone, but the problem is you can't ever contact them!
- You have to page them for them to call you back. Only they
will call you but you cannot.
- They use a separate line. If so, try calling their main line at random times.
- You can only call during certain periods of time. Again, if this applies to you, try calling at
different time periods to see who answers the phone.
RED FLAG WARNING: Asks for money because Granny needs
another operation
Since you are dating only online, your relationship is not that deep yet that your date
should ask for financial help. Asking for funds may destroy the
relationship which could become a long lasting relationship in
future. If you or your date asks for money, it may show that the person's financial
condition is not very sound which may push you away from your
partner. Avoid getting into financial trouble by following a simple rule;
"don't lend or borrow money".
RED FLAG WARNING: One sided efforts to continue the
relationship.
Are you the only one making an effort in altering your lifestyle to have this
dating relationship ongoing? Do you notice no efforts on other's
part? This is a tell tale sign of things to come if you develop an off-line romance.
You should be aware of the fact that no relationship exists for
long with solely one person's efforts. If you find this happening to you, talk about it to your
partner
and ask them to meet you half way in your efforts.
RED FLAG WARNING: Feelings of Insecurity
Is your potential partner is overly insecure about your off-line or online
activities? Just as in any relationship, a person who is overly insecure about something can end up
being an emotionally draining experience. Take a
step back, and really look at whether this is something you're willing to put up with if the
relationship happened to last two to three years. If not, move on and find someone more
independent.
RED FLAG WARNING: Overly eager to get married
If you think
that your potential partner wants to get married too bad, think
about it seriously. His/Her eagerness to marry may be a sign of
loneliness, rejection or feelings of resentment toward others.
Such individuals sometimes marry to get out of their home or to
avoid loneliness. However, they will often carry their past
baggage with them into a marriage. It is suggested that couples
take their time and not rush into marriage. Date a while and
really get to know each other.
RED FLAG WARNING: Pressure
for Sex
One of the biggest warning signs while dating is when
someone is constantly pressuring the person they are dating to
have sex. If your date pushes you for sexual favors, this is one
of the biggest red flags. If you are uncomfortable with a person's
advances, communicate that with him/her. You need to know each
other more before stepping into such relationship. Their
response will tell you how much they care about you. If they
continue pressuring you, they are just disregarding your beliefs
and values.
RED FLAG WARNING: Reality VS. Fantasy
There are many different viewpoints towards a dating relationship founded through the Internet. To
save future hurt and embarrassment, make sure you know your potential partner's philosophies. Do
they view an Internet dating as a real relationship, or is it a way to live out a fantasy life? If it's the later, be
careful to avoid being their latest cyber fling.
Remember, any dating relationship will have its red flags. If you're really
ready for arelationship or interested in developing one, you'll be able to spot them, handle them and get
on with your life with little or no loss.
-
Tell someone your plans. As soon as you have concrete plans, tell your best friend or a family member
exactly where you'll be. If you have a mobile phone, enter some emergency phone numbers and bring it along.
-
Err on the side of caution. Just because you feel like you already know your date doesn't mean that you
actually do. Treat this first date just as you would any other first date. Use common sense and good
judgment.
-
Use your own transportation. Don't rely on your date for transportation. If things aren't going well,
it will be easier for you to leave if you have your own way home. If you aren't driving, make sure you have enough
cash in your pockent>
-
Agree to meet in a public place. Go to a popular restaurant, cafe, museum, park, or any public place
where other people hang out. Double date with a friend if it makes you feel more comfortable. Don't agree to meet
anywhere isolated, unfamiliar, or uncomfortable for you.
MAKE SURE AND DO:
Write in advance. This lets you think about what you want to say about yourself and, more
importantly, check your spelling and grammar. Have a friend read and react to your draft message.
Spellcheck. Yes, this counts. It shows that you are serious about finding dates and willing to pay
attention to details. Some people are just natural bad spellers, but it can make you look less
smart or less educated than you really are. Most websites do not offer spellchecking of profiles.
Personalize! We recommend writing a general template of a first message, but you have to
personalize it for each person you contact. Mention something from their profile, ask a question
that refers to something they wrote, or describe how you would be a good match for them. Mention
what attracted your attention to their ad. No one wants to think they just received a form letter.
Write more than one line. "Liked your profile... want to chat?" This may be the most commonly-sent
message on a dating website... and the most ignored. You need to say something else. Set yourself
apart and say something interesting to get a reply.
Use humor. If someone with a great personal ad is receiving lots of replies... what will make yours
stand out? A funny line might help. But if you have noticed that people do not respond well to your
brand of humor... save your jokes for later.
Keep track of whom you've contacted. Don't write a series of letters to someone who has not
responded... you'll look desperate or like a stalker.
MAKE SURE AND DON'T:
Don't demand personal info immediately. Certainly not if you have failed to offered any details
yourself. Go for a balance between talking about yourself and asking about them.
Don't open with your last failed relationship. Sure, you have a dating history. But talking about
"game players, liars, and cheats" makes you sound a little bitter. Don't sound like you are
obsessed with past partners... or that you think everyone will hurt you.
Don't open with sex. "Hi. You look sexy." Unless the person's ad specifically says they only want a
casual sexual relationship, it can easily sound vulgar and rude. Women, in particular, typically
delete those messages. When men get letters like that, they often expect a link to a porn site to
follow. Even on a website that focuses on "adult activities," you need to do more than describe
your body or fantasies.
Don't write a novel. Sending out your life story as a first contact is going to look odd. You need
to write enough to sound like you have a life, not a book you'd like to publish.
Don't open with "I hate online dating." It is amazing how many people open a note with a line that
condemns online dating sites and the people that use them. You are talking to someone that uses a
dating website! Do you really want to immediately imply that they are desperate, dumb, or
dangerous?
Don't ask for a phone number, address, or last name before you have even gotten a reply from
someone. You may be mistaken for a serial killer or a telemarketer. Go slowly in asking for that
sort of information; you don't want to scare off prospective dates.
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address. Observe the rules of
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various websites... some do not allow you to post web addresses or email addresses. Many prohibit
crude language or sexual references. Getting your ad removed by breaking rules is a waste of time.
So... let your personality be shown in a tasteful way, take the time to do a good job, and
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But there are many dating sites and personal ads out there. How do you know which are the best web
personals? Basically, most of the more reputable sites are very good. As long as they have a large
user base, a comprehensive and detailed set of features, and great customer service, then they are
definitely worth trying out.
Just remember that it is best to explore personal ads sites before placing all of your eggs in one
basket. Singles chat is fun, safe and easy. Plus, it is a really great way to meet people online.
You can
learn a ton about people through just instant messaging each other back and forth.
Most of the top web dating sites offer singles chat services, which will help you connect with
singles. Plus, there are several really good sites that specialize only in chat and video online
chat. The video component can really make an online conversation more intimate, or perhaps even a
bit wild!
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3. RECOGNIZE THE VARIOUS STAGES OF SEDUCTION
Different rules apply for each stage of seduction . Recognize what stage of the seduction you're
in: First Stage: Making Contact. Second Stage: Flirting and Courtship. Third Stage:
Cyber-Seduction.
Success comes to the man who recognizes what stage he is in.
4. GETTING TO YES -- THE FIRST STAGE OF SEDUCTION
The first stage is making contact and determining if the woman is interested in your attention. At
this initial stage most woman are still in the no thank you mode. This is not the best time to
start
sending her direct, sexual private messages, because she is still in the no stage. Establish a
friendly
connection first. Make sure she really wants to play before you escalate the game. Assuming you
have
determined that she is responding to you, the next step is establishing a connection that is
personal
to the two of you. The art of the first stage is knowing how to make it personal without making it
too
personal. It requires sensitivity to know where her boundaries are at each stage.
5. LET THE GAMES BEGIN! THE SECOND STAGE OF SEDUCTION
The best flirtation is like a good game of tennis. Both players return volleys. If she is
not
responding at your pace, SLOW DOWN. There is no point in trying to `ace' her at this stage in the
game.
Be interested in her, who she is, not what she is! Ask questions, but don't make her feel like
she's
the subject of a `60 Minutes' interview. Never ask questions about her body parts, or her
dimensions
unless she's willing to volunteer that level of information. Ask open-ended questions like how do
you
feel about....? what do you like best about...? -- rather than closed questions like Do you like
Classical music? Those kind of questions tend to lead to yes or no answers, perhaps bringing the
conversation to a halt. Keep the game going. Always respond to her, never let a comment or question
go
by unanswered. If you don't have an answer, speak up (softly). Don't just be silent. Remember, she
can't read your mind. It's easier to keep the connection going than it is to re-start it.
6. LAY YOUR CARDS ON THE TABLE
Be honest! If you don't look like Mel Gibson, why say you do? You might as well take the
risk to
find out if she is interested in who you really are. She will be very angry at you if she finds out
later you have mislead her ABOUT ANYTHING. Be truthful about your intentions with her at this
stage. If
you are not looking for a romance, don't pretend to be. If you have other important relationships
on
the net or in life, TELL HER NOW before the situation escalates, otherwise there are bound to be
hurt
feelings. Ask her the same questions about her love life and intentions. Reveal something about
yourself FIRST. THEN ask her to do the same. In the second stage, Be first to tell her how you
feel. In
the long run she'll respect and trust you more for being open and honest.
7. LET HER TAKE THE LEAD
As you move through the levels of the second stage , if possible, let her take the lead
toward
becoming more intimate. If she initiates deeper levels, you will know that this is what she truly
desires, and it will allow her to feel more in control of the situation. If she feels in charge
she's
less likely to become afraid of more intensity. If she is shy, you can still help her feel in
control
by inviting her rather than taking her down the path of Cyber-Seduction. Ask her: Tell me about
what
you're wearing? This is better than asking her, What are you wearing? (if you haven't reached this
level of intimacy yet.)
8. STAGE THREE: HER SENSES MAY BE DIFFERENT FROM YOURS
If you've gotten to the cyber-seduction stage three, you may be speaking very directly about
sex
and sensuality. Remember, all of the above rules still apply, and a few more come into play. First,
her
sense of choice may be different from yours. You may want her to paint pictures for you. You may
ask
her to describe what she looks like, what she's wearing and other visual descriptions. This may do
nothing for her. She may want to hear words that turn her on. Or she may want to feel through
descriptions of sensations. She may initially prefer one modality, and then another as things heat
up.
Get to know yourself and your lady and you'll be able to play her like a fine violin. Here's an
example
of how the different senses can be used. One simple act (escalating the action at a dinner table),
can
be handled in a multitude of ways: Visual Sensation: ....I push away the dinner plates and lift you
onto the table. I can see from the look in your eyes that you are mine. Your red lips part with
longing... Sound Sensation: ....I can almost hear you purr --- I know I can't wait any longer, 'You
are
mine' I whisper. Shoving away the dinner plates, I don't care who hears us now, 'You are my most
sinful
dessert' I sigh.... Touch Sensation: ...I reach under the white linen tablecloth, my hand slides
teasingly slowly up your trembling thigh. You let me gently part your legs as your moist heat
attracts
my fingers like a thousand invisible magnets...
9. A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME.....
....May not smell as sweet. What kind of words does she use to describe body parts or acts
of love?
Does she like poetic & colorful innuendo, or graphic dirty words and explicit descriptions? One
false
step in this department can cause weeks of delicate feelings to unravel in a moment. Find out what
she
likes before you find yourself typing away like a wild man in the heat of action. Erotic and
(porno)
graphic are very opposing styles. The different impact of these two approaches is considerable. She
may
not respond to one, whereas she may be delighted by the other. Here is an example of an erotic
approach: ...my hands find their way to the source of your desire, awakening an almost forgotten
longing.... Graphic approach: (....maybe I'll just let you imagine this one....!) Don't assume you
know
her tastes -- ask her. It may sound a little clinical, but that's where the great lovers are
separated
from the crowd. Get good at eliciting her love-strategy in a way that is fun, provocative and
passionate.
10. BRINGING NET-FANTASIES TO LIFE
If you've been having a Cyber Love affair, you may be wondering about taking it to the next
level
of reality. Assuming that you are both single and available, you may be curious to speak on the
phone
or even meet in person. WARNING: Are you willing to let go of a fantasy in order to have a real
life
experience? If the answer is yes, and you are willing to accept any possible outcome, then you know
what you need to do next. Call her! If it goes well, get on an airplane!!! But be honest with
yourself.
Are you ready to have your life (which you have some control over as long as you are at the
keyboard)
disrupted? Are you ready, willing and able to face the fact that the goddess you have been
imagining
and sweet chatting is different from a living, breathing, real woman? Real women have real needs,
hopes
and dreams. But if you're ready for reality...
Creating Personal Ad Profiles That Attract Women
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